Jimmy Garoppolo Goes Out On A High Note

Throws for three touchdowns, 230 yards in a couple quarters. Immediately falls down injured. Alright! That's it for me! Have a good one everybody!

Great move by Jimmy here. Love every part of it. If he stays in the game any longer all he can do is spoil those first two quarters. He can't do any better than that. He can only do worse, so why even stay in at all if you know you're going to win and be back on the bench in two weeks if all it's going to do is lower your free agency stock? You always gotta leave people wanting more.

Instead of buying two Chips Ahoys, only buy one so you leave yourself wanting more. Wanna smoke a little grass? Only do it once a month so when you do do it, it feels awesome and you don't become a drug addict. How about getting a B- in the first term so when you get a B+ in the second your parents are all pumped up? Life isn't that hard. It's just all about showmanship baby. Just trying to get out on a high note in life.

Why Is Eli Manning's Evil Twin Pitching For The Cubs

Kyle Hendricks was separated at birth from the Manning brothers as a baby. I'm convinced. Kyle Hendrick's mother is an evil witch and took this fourth Manning brother and dragged him out to Southern California. There is no other reasonable explanation. Bill Belichick should sign Kyle Hendricks because they'd be getting another Manning brother for two weeks who could ball for two games.

I haven't seen two people look so much alike since Darth Sidious and the Pope

These two dudes are the same person but just in different sports. They always have that same dopey face on the field that people love to make fun of so much. They're both lanky 6'3" white dudes that throw balls for a living. They both can't grow beards. They both have the haircut you got when you were in the fourth grade.

That's a Manning face. Don't tell me that isn't a Manning because a person who isn't a Manning doesn't make that face. 

It's like how you don't wear a Yamaka if you're not Jewish. Or how you don't come home from church with ash on your forehead if you're not a Christian. You don't wear overalls if you aren't a farmer. You're can't be a made man in the Mafia if you're not Sicilian. You don't make these faces if you're not a Manning brother.

Does Colin Kapernick Sits When He Pees?

I don't know what the stigma is with sitting when you pee. If it's 3 A.M. and I wake up and I have to pee, there is literally zero percent chance I am turning on the light, aiming and getting my tired body to stand up for the thirty seconds it takes for me to finish peeing. I am sitting down in the dark, relaxing and then walking back upstairs.  

I guess allegedly Colin Kapernick sits when he pees too. I respect that. That's just called being a practical person. That's just called bringing Coke cans to Michigan to get ten cents. That's just getting the smallest soft drink cup and refilling it twenty times. If you refuse to sit when you pee, you're the guy who refuses to use Ad Block because you want to give money to those freaks on Youtube like Eat Dat Pussy445 who get eight million bucks from selling movie ads on their dumb videos. If you're a dude and you sit down to pee, you just grab life by the balls. Just ask Colin Kapernick (allegedly).

P.S. The time when Larry pees on Jesus in the Bare Midriff Ladies' house.

Its a new age

The comeback is here folks, we are stacking the hay bails, building the walls, and making a new face. We are back and promise to not be some Brett Farve phony that keeps retiring and coming back. We had one break, but are back with more fire than ever. The Farmer and I had to make some business decisions and decided to rebuild the wall. It will be a more strict blog now we gotta find dedicated company men to write with us, it will take time but we will rebuild. However, its time ladies and gentlemen the Average Guy and Farmer are back in business. Its time to build the brand.



P.S Defend the fields

Deep in the Fields Sports