I think I'm serious about this one. If Bo Pelini goes to Purdue, I'm going there with him. If Bo Pelini is back in the Big Ten I would legit get a boner and cum myself in fifteen seconds. We're a package, Bo and myself. Like those two kids on the playground who have to be on the same team when you're playing football. I think I would go all in with the Purdue thing if Bo Pelini coached there. Like I'd buy a Drew Brees Saints jersey, I'd get one of those cool Nike Purdue sweatshirts that I can't get with Nebraska and their German Adidas sweatshirts. I'll become an engineer. Work as a civil engineer somewhere. Build bridges or train tracks or something. Get really into Purdue basketball.
You don't even need a search committee to hire this guy. Immediate 9-4 record and a middle of the road bowl game. If you're Purdue, why the hell would you mess with anyone else?
P.S. Fuck hat P.J. Fleck guy. I don't care if P.J. Fleck is the most natural Crossfit/triathlon/energy guy in the entire world, Bo Pelini makes that guy pee his pants and call him daddy. Plus any Purdue person who thinks Les Miles is going from LSU to Purdue has to be joking. If you can't have the Mad Hater, why not have his slightly less mad defensive coordinator?
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